Sunday, February 24, 2008

Rules I have learned thus far

Only been here roughly four days and already I have a number of rules to take with me on the rest of my travels

1)"feck" is the most acceptable word in the language...followed closely by "fecking." I was sitting watching the boats for an hour and observed many passer byers. Noticed that every single New Zealand male (and to be fair Aussie as well) was saying this word whilst talking to their companion or mobile. Not always in an angry way, but just constantly using it to pepper their speech with some emphasis. I also observed that people of other nationalities were not using this word as they passes by (and believe me...I can say it in over 20 languages so I would have noticed if they said it :) )

2) Don't start the night at a club! Go to a pub or bar (really suggest one with live music that isn't too loud) first and meet people. This is very important! At a club you are going to only find very loud music with machismo guys looking to grope you and not even bothering to ask your name much less your permission. At a local pub or bar you can enjoy more locals who will actual talk to you and tell you a bit about themselves. This is much more pleasant experience and guarantees a better quality time. Now, don't despair if you wanted to go dancing. They stay out ALL NIGHT here....you may start at a pub, get to know someone until 3am and then go out dancing with him! This is the best of all worlds since now you know the guy fairly well, he has ascertained your permission for groping, and more importantly will actual know and possibly remember your name the next day.

3)a bloke is a bloke......yes, guys from different countries seem to have particular tastes that make you think they are safe to hang out with.....Asian men go for Asian women, German men into blond New Zealand or Aussie babes, American men into both previous categories, and the Brits and the Irish are into....BEER. However, that does not mean you are safe. They are still guys and some things are universal....guys just want to get laid!

4)Beware guys are waaayyy hotter with accents! I know, you are saying "duh." But until everything around you is spoken in a million different accents, you just don't know. The problem is now you are interested in guys you wouldn't glance a second time at in the US. So, I have a solution. Stuff cotton balls in your ears, dress the guy in baggy jeans and a free t-shirt that advertises some random product and is 2 sizes too big.....okay is he still hot or does he look like every other guy wondering around middle America?

5)Beware guys are waaayyy hotter with accents and a bloke is a bloke.....okay I said these before but you really need to pay attention to these two rules. These are not socially awkward American (especially Seattle) guys who will take months to work up the courage to ask you out and then botch any attempt at being sexy. These are cultured, accented, foreign guys who are so freaking good at seduction one minute you are chatting about books and the next you are sharing a twin bed.

6) That being said....guys are still better to hang out with than girls. Apparently another universal truth is that women (unless they are your friends) are bitches to other women. Yes, in every culture you are still competition (even in a country with more men than women) and will be treated with suspicion.

2 comments:

Malissa said...

keep the "rules" coming! ;) i hope you are enjoying yourself (sounds like it!) and watching out for those crazy blokes. i'm glad you started a blog to capture all of this. enjoy!

Ky • twopretzels.com said...

I agree strongly with point #6.

"Yes, in every culture you are still competition (even in a country with more men than women) and will be treated with suspicion."

Well said.